Wednesday, July 9, 2008

People in my neighborhood #1

This is a little segment where I will factually a describe situation that took place between me and someone that lives in my neighborhood.

So there I was. . . at the bar the other night and one of those troll-like-drunk-60-year-old men, who went by the handle, "K-Mart" was talking to the girls that we were with about Vietnam and black jet pilots being an impossibility in his mind and then he got to me. He patted my belly and before he could say anything I said, "Before you say anything you should check out this (motions to upper arm) because I have been working out" he said, "I am the best God Damn street fight in East Nashville." The way he said it I knew it was quite possibly true and I could find out anytime I pleased. This ended the interaction. When were leaving he was singing Tootsie-Roll and telling the bartender who was obviously working to "get a god damn job."

Also, I was down at the park yesterday and as I passed a 12 year old boy with a Gumby-Kid&Play haircut and HE said, to ME, "Nice Hair, Fag" and then laughed at me. I am not sure what gay hair looks like, but I am pretty sure my hair is straight, and far more straight than a haircut from a 90's party movie on a little boy. What's next? Are his parents going to dress him like Sinbad and make him get Cross-Color shoes? I had nothing to say so I just kept on my way.
Right near the house a bumble bee flew up my shorts, but you can relax because it didn't get the "honey" and I made it home safely.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Notice the kid said "nice hair, fag." Not "nice faggy hair." He was in no way attributing your gayness to your hair. On what, then, was he basing his position? Question: what type of weirdo shoes were you wearing? Maybe your prescription scented bodyspray was scorching his nostrils? Maybe he could hear the Queen Latifah tunes trudging through your dome (which would explain why you were thinking of Sinbad jammies and Crosscolor footwear).