It is time for you to take Monday Night Mix Tapes recommendations.
1) Drinking on the Front Porch: Sure there are considerably less women to look at (and if I know your front porch, "considerably less" means zero), but take a break, booty-hound! Get a case of what you drink, put on some Otis Redding, and get fucked up out in nature like the good Lord intended. Plus, you never have to worry about getting home, you just have to worry about getting inside, and honestly you don't even have to worry about that. Right Andy?
2) Bumper Stickers: There is no faster way to be absolutely sure who you hate, especially from 20 feet away. Except for those brass sets of "balls" assholes put on their trucks, and people wearing Insane Clown Posse T-shirts. You can see those shirts coming forever because they only make them in 4X large. ICP fans are big. Probably from trying to eat away their shame.
3) High 5's: High 5's are the handshake of the Gods. If Michaelangelo had any guts that is what would be painted on the Sistine Chapel instead of that weak-ass finger touching. We believe in high 5's because you will forever avoid limp handshakes, and it sounds like smacking an ass.
4 comments:
Whoa, your endorsing high fives now? Excuse me while I telephone MC Hawking and see if he has any reverse big bang theories to explain this phenomena.
Upon further consideration Monday Night Mix Tapes also endorses: "two pumps and a bump, skinning it, and the occassional low five (to put people in their place.)"
Never the "handjive handshake."
#2 was absolutely brilliant.
I think a gutter burped and ICP fans suddenly, mysteriously appeared.
wait, what? ICP shirts and jnco jeans are out now? well, there goes my summer wardrobe. shit.
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