It is time again when the Monday Night Mix Tapes home offices offer you a piece of gold to put in your pipe and smoke.
Co-writing credit goes to Thom Snowden. If you haven't checked it out, you can find his mix here.
1) Bonnaroo: Its that time of the year again, kids. It will be hot, sweaty, sticky, expensive, with an arguably shitty line up. So why go? Because Bonnaroo is completely lawless. It is to music fans what Tangiers, Morocco was to the Beat writers - only instead of doing opium and sleeping with 15 year old boys you will be doing hallucinogens and listening to a seemingly endless stream of music . . . with people that are into jam bands.
I know, I know, I know, it sounds like this combo might ruin your well-crafted buzz, but when I went, my trip started with a van load of shirtless neo-hippies playing drums right next to my tent - then they disappeared for three days - and on the last day one of the guys reappeared as I woke up. He was standing on top of his van, free-style gasta rapping at everyone on the ground about murder and jewelry and had a very fresh new tattoo of a fully grown oak tree on his back.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that Bonnaroo is a place of experimentation and growth and sometimes you come as one person and leave as another. . . an acorn to an oak tree. . . which is good, because so many of those people suck at life.
2) Turning in applications via the internet: Many things about the digital age sucks. Nothing is personal, and our attention spans have decreased to a point where goldfish are going to start telling us where we left our keys - seriously when was the last time you applied for a job in your underwear? Never- that's when. Revel in that shit.
3) Spending time with your internet friend "craigslist": What an age we live in! With the click of a mouse you can get a flat screen TV or an erotic message for a reasonable price. The downside? I can't see one. . . I see many. . . But I won't notice because I will be watching my brand new Bravio Television while getting a happy ending. SNAP!
Showing posts with label recommends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recommends. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Recommends #4
Monday Night Mix Tapes Recommends:
1) Holes in the Knees of Your Jeans: Holes in your jeans is a statement. It is saying, "These jeans fit perfectly and I am not giving them up, Mom. What? I look homeless? No I don't! Homeless people don't have holes in there jeans they wear sweat pants, a 'Big Johnson T-shirt', and carry an Aldi's shopping bag."
Plus, that girl you had a crush on when you were 13 totally had holes in her jeans. So that raises them up on the list. She also was smoking a really bent Marlboro Red and liked Machine Head by Bush, so that kind of hurts the whole scene these days, but the jeans part is still a good look.
Remember: When the holes in the knees of your jeans turn into more, it is time to move on. No one wants to see your whole flank. You are not a slutty female hip-hop artist.
2) Sleeping on the Couch: It kind of hurts your back, and you don't sleep very well, but there is something extremely satisfying about falling over kicking off your boots and staying the fuck there until morning. Its like saying, "Look Body, I know we have been drinking since noon, and you are worn out, but seriously, I am only doing this for you, because I am totally ready to keep partying." Also, half the time you will wake up to the dog's snoot in your grill, and that is the closest city folks can come to waking up in the wilderness- and waking up the wilderness is good for the blood.
3) Writing Letters: Receiving a letter is a treat. I know, I know - It takes longer and your spelling isn't worth shit anymore, but seriously you should do it every once in a while. I can't even remember a single telephone number I have received after 1997. All this Myspace and Gchat has kind of made us retarded. Like not, I can't take care of myself retarded - more like I don't ever write in complete sentences retarded. Also, you would never do this in a letter: :-p, lol, brb, roflmao - because that shit should be banished.
1) Holes in the Knees of Your Jeans: Holes in your jeans is a statement. It is saying, "These jeans fit perfectly and I am not giving them up, Mom. What? I look homeless? No I don't! Homeless people don't have holes in there jeans they wear sweat pants, a 'Big Johnson T-shirt', and carry an Aldi's shopping bag."
Plus, that girl you had a crush on when you were 13 totally had holes in her jeans. So that raises them up on the list. She also was smoking a really bent Marlboro Red and liked Machine Head by Bush, so that kind of hurts the whole scene these days, but the jeans part is still a good look.
Remember: When the holes in the knees of your jeans turn into more, it is time to move on. No one wants to see your whole flank. You are not a slutty female hip-hop artist.
2) Sleeping on the Couch: It kind of hurts your back, and you don't sleep very well, but there is something extremely satisfying about falling over kicking off your boots and staying the fuck there until morning. Its like saying, "Look Body, I know we have been drinking since noon, and you are worn out, but seriously, I am only doing this for you, because I am totally ready to keep partying." Also, half the time you will wake up to the dog's snoot in your grill, and that is the closest city folks can come to waking up in the wilderness- and waking up the wilderness is good for the blood.
3) Writing Letters: Receiving a letter is a treat. I know, I know - It takes longer and your spelling isn't worth shit anymore, but seriously you should do it every once in a while. I can't even remember a single telephone number I have received after 1997. All this Myspace and Gchat has kind of made us retarded. Like not, I can't take care of myself retarded - more like I don't ever write in complete sentences retarded. Also, you would never do this in a letter: :-p, lol, brb, roflmao - because that shit should be banished.
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